And it was to keep us from seeing lineman ass. This may be safe for work, but it's not safe for life.
Source: reddit.com
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The NFL's New Nike Pants Only Had One Job...
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The Most Embarrassing Moments Of The NFL's First Weekend
Not everything about the NFL is impressive.
Brandon Weeden Got Sacked By The American Flag
Then had one of the worst debuts in recent memory. He threw 4 interceptions and had a QB rating of 5.1. The next worst rating was 39 (Miami's Ryan TerribleTannehill).
A Replacement Ref Had The Worst Flag Aim
Or the best flag aim...
Kurt Coleman Lost His Head
Trent Richardson made him look bad, but Coleman had a much better day overall, notching 2 interceptions.
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Stripper Pole Vs. Drunk Bears Fan
If you're not betting heavily on the pole, then you are underestimating how much a Chicagoan can drink.
Source: youtube.com
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So This Is How They Celebrate Winning A Race In Spain
Cyclist Alberto Contador simultaneously won both the Tour of Spain and the Tour of Blatant Innuendo. From this weekend's victory ceremony for the Tour of Spain, or La Vuelta.
Image by Miguel Vidal / Reuters
Image by Miguel Vidal / Reuters
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"The Most Visited Urban Website In The World" Is Sick Of NBA Players' "Gay Stylists"
Wow. And here, I thought Media Take Out couldn't sink any lower.
Media Take Out is a popular gossip website with a focus on "urban" culture. It's certainly not known for a restrained and stuffy editorial style, and it's one of the premiere places online to see photos of hip-hop stars and athletes naked, but even considering all that, this is shocking. Homophobia is always a bad look.
Source: cdn.mediatakeout.com
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Sean Connery Is Andy Murray's Biggest Fan
It's pretty cool to have James Bond in your corner.
After Andy Murray defeated Tomas Berdych to go to the final of the US Open, fellow Scotsman Sir Sean Connery (along with legendary football manager Sir Alex Ferguson) crashed Murray's press conference.
Source: youtube.com
The actor has been cheering for Murray throughout the Open.
Image by Matthew Stockman / Getty Images
It's like Sean Connery is auditioning to play Andy Murray's grandpa. (Note: If they make a movie about Andy Murray, Sean Connery should totally play his grandpa.)
GIF by BuzzFeed
Image by Matthew Stockman / Getty Images
Oh and Connery is still so cool he makes everyone else look lame by comparison.
Image by Clive Brunskill / Getty Images
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Baseball Rookies Dressed Like The Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team
Hazing: The Washington Nationals are doing it right.
Hazing is one of those words that almost always has negative connotations, but the Washington Nationals in specific, and Major League Baseball's longstanding tradition of making rookies dress in costume in general, serve as excellent reminders of why hazing can be a good thing. In this case, no one is hurt or victimized (see the New York Giants' preseason controversy for the other side of this coin), and the young guys bond over the silliness of it all. Plus, big dudes in leotards. That's comedy 101.
Source: @GioGonzalez47
Source: @GioGonzalez47
I think we know which one is McKayla...
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Meet The First Female Quarterback To Play High School Football In Florida
Erin DiMeglio is a history-making badass.
Erin DiMeglio is a senior at Florida's South Plantation High School. She's 5'4", 140lbs, and most notably, the third-string quarterback on her school's football team. DiMeglio, who was already the starting point guard for the girl's basketball team and the quarterback for a girls' flag football team, started practicing with the boys earlier this spring.
According to People, it was Doug Gatewood, the coach of both her flag team and the boys' varsity squad, who invited her to come to a spring workout. By the end of the first practice, she was asking if she could come back the next day.
"I said, 'Sure, but you're not playing,' " Gatewood said. "She wore me down..."
Her campaign to stick around paid off earlier this season when she entered a game late in the fourth quarter, becoming the state's first female quarterback.
Source: youtube.com
Hear Erin, her coach, and her teammates talk about having her on the roster.
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Pitcher Brandon McCarthy Reacted To His Life-Threatening Skull Fracture By Being Hilarious
Meet your new favorite baseball player.
On September 5th, Oakland Athletics pitcher Brandon McCarthy was struck in the head by an Erick Aybar line drive.
Image by The Contra Costa Times, Doug Duran / AP
Not knowing he had an epidural hemorrhage, brain contusion and skull fracture, McCarthy walked off the field and was taken to an area hospital, where he was said to be in a "life-threatening situation."
Source: ABC News
Image by Ben Margot / AP
After a two hour surgery, McCarthy was in stable condition Thursday.
Image by Ben Margot / AP
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How To Streak At A Sporting Event And Get Away With It
If you've ever wondered how to run pantsless and not get arrested or tackled by a large, angry man, this is how.
Step 1: Wear a mask. Red works!
Step 2: Run naked and fast across a football field. This part kind of goes without saying.
Step 3: Begin evasive maneuvers.
Step 4: Risk great bodily harm by hurling yourself over fences. Also, hope the cops trip.
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Watch A Sportscaster Fall Asleep During An Interview
The legendary New York radio talk show host needs some sleep.
Source: youtube.com
And now enjoy Mike Francesa solving the greatest mystery man has ever known: (Wait for the end. Trust me, it's worth it.) (Spoiler Alert for "The Usual Suspects.")
Inspiration from a typically hilarious Deadspin comment.
Source: youtube.com
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Peyton Manning Has Been Immortalized In Corn
That's when you know you've really made it.
There are many ways to show your love for a player. You can buy his jersey. You can go to the game and cheer loudly. You can re-enact the plot of the Robert DeNiro-Wesley Snipes classic The Fan, and kidnap his son (BuzzFeed does not recommend this option). Or if you're an anti-social weirdo, you can listen to that voice you hear when you're working in the fields and you can turn your corn crops into a giant maze in the shape of said player.
Someone in Greeley, Colorado went with the last option to show his or her (but let's be real, his) total devotion to one Peyton Williams Manning. It's a pretty impressive feat of crop carving (is that a thing?), and just like in real life, Peyton's neck has been hit so often it's basically non-existent.
I bet the other farmers at the local farm store totally gave him a hard time for this one. (If you can't tell, I totally understand how farming works.)
Source: twitpic.com
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9 Sports Books That Don't Need To Exist
Complete with totally, absolutely not fake Amazon reviews.
"The Contract: The Journey of Jimmer Fredette from the Playground to the Pros"
Via: amazon.com
"Through My Eyes: A Quarterback's Journey"
Via: amazon.com
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Was This College Football Player Kicked Off The Team For Being Gay?
It certainly seems like it.
Image by James MacPherson / AP
Jamie Kuntz was a freshman linebacker at North Dakota State College Of Sciences. I say "was" because as of a week ago, he no longer plays football, nor attends college there, thanks to a kiss from his boyfriend.
Kuntz was not in uniform for the team's first game of season since he had a concussion, so he was up in the pressbox filming the game. The 18-year-old's 65-year-old boyfriend — more on that age difference later — joined him there. While the team was being thoroughly crushed by the powerhouse that is Pueblo, Colorado's Snow College (NDSCS would lose 63-17), Kuntz kissed his boyfriend. Some of his teammates witnessed the sexy cross-generational pressbox smoochingkiss and reported it to their coach, Chuck Parsons.
On the trip home Parsons confronted Kuntz, who claimed the man was his grandfather. Later, in a fit of conscience, Kuntz confessed to the lie. As a result he was kicked off the team for "conduct deemed detrimental to the team." That detrimental conduct, allegedly? Not gay kissing, but lying. Kuntz decided to leave school as a result.
According to USA Today, the freshman linebacker is calling bullshit.
"I know if it was a girl in the press box, or even an older woman, nothing would have happened," he said. "If it was an older woman, I would have probably been congratulated for it from my teammates."
In the opposite of the usual progression, when I first heard about this story I didn't think it was that clean-cut. After all, it happened during a game. I played a few years of serious high school football, and the idea that a player could get kicked off a team for kissing someone during a game (and then lying about it) doesn't seem all that surprising. Mid-game kissing is a little disrespectful to the players who are playing (and losing). Maybe his coach is just strict about these things, I thought. Maybe it had nothing to do with him being gay, and had more to do with him hanging out with his significant other when he should have been paying attention. But then I read Dan Savage's write-up of the story, which included this chestnut.
Other members of the team, according to Kuntz, have been caught drinking, a violation of team rules; one member, a minor, was detained by the police after being found in a 21-and-over club. Some members of the team have “criminal charges and convictions,” according to Kuntz, both misdemeanors and felonies. Another player had a house party that was shut down by the police in Wapheton.
“Nothing happened to him,” says Kuntz. “He’s still on the team. He played on Saturday. I don’t feel that I should’ve been kicked off the team for this. It was a kiss. It was a mistake, but it was just a kiss. We weren’t making out.”
If that's true, that's pretty damning. It's hard to make the argument that what Kuntz did is worse than any of those issues that have allegedly plagued the team, and it's even harder to make that argument without being a homophobe. And though the fact that Kuntz is barely legal and his boyfriend is retirement age does seem icky and exploitative (at least to me), they didn't do anything illegal, which is more than you can say about his teammates. I'm sorry. I mean, former teammates.
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Watch A Man With No Arms Pitch With His Feet
Tom Willis was born with no arms, but that doesn't stop him from being a BAMF.
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Griffining Is The New Tebowing
After a killer first week, Robert Griffin III has Washington fans excited about their football team for the first time in years. So excited in fact, that he's inspired a new photo trend.
The Original Photos:
After throwing an 88-yard touchdown pass against New Orleans, RGIII celebrated while still sitting on his butt. Who knew that's all it took to become a photo trendsetter?
Image by Ronald Martinez / Getty Images
The Trend:
Source: @JohnnyWalkerDC
Source: @MaineUPTDC
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Watch Dustin Pedroia Learn That His Wife Is Going Into Labor During A Game
It's nice to see someone running away from a Red Sox game this year for a good reason, and not because of the horrors that are happening on the field.
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Soon Every Quarterback Will Be A Rookie Quarterback
With the need for a top-tier signal-caller becoming inarguable, teams value QB potential so much that it's become more important — in the short term — than winning.
Image by Jonathan Ernst / Reuters
Let's say you're the new general manager of a team. (Congratulations! We've already moved your bed into your office.) Your current starting quarterback is two or three seasons into his professional career. Despite an ugly winning percentage, his early numbers aren't terrible; an about-even number of touchdowns and interceptions, a completion percentage a point or two below 60.
He seems acceptable — he could start for your team this season. You guys could go 9-7, maybe 10-6 with this kid at the helm one day if you give him the necessary pieces. But in a league that has finally shed its deepest historic principle — establish the run; ESTABLISH THE RUN — one nasty blemish won't disappear, no matter how hard you squint. This kid isn't Super Bowl-caliber. If he ever gets a ring, he's going to do it by holding a clipboard, not throwing a football.
So what do you do? The free-agent pool contains nothing of interest: old, old, unproven, old, mediocre, unproven, old, Favre. With all the available passers, the big problem remains the same: it isn't that he can't win a Super Bowl this year; it's that he can't win a Super Bowl ever. He just doesn't have that potential. And if you're not threatening to win a Super Bowl, you're not keeping your job for too long.
You know who does have Super Bowl potential? Every rookie.
So the draft rolls around, and you take a QB in the first three rounds, maybe higher than he was projected to go. And then you bench your OK-to-good incumbent and start the rookie immediately.
Cleveland fans: get ready for a lot of this.
Image by Leon Halip / Getty Images
That's the story of the 2012 NFL: when it comes to quarterbacks, potential trumps performance. In all likelihood, for example, the Browns' Brandon Weeden isn't and won't ever be a better quarterback than the guy that he's replacing, Colt McCoy. But he hasn't proven it yet. (Though he really tried in Week 1, throwing four picks.) Four rookie starting quarterbacks in addition to Weeden took their teams' first snaps of 2012: Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, Ryan Tannehill, and Russell Wilson. On top of the five rooks under center, there are five sophomores: Minnesota's Christian Ponder, Carolina's Cam Newton, Tennessee's Jake Locker, Cincinnati's Andy Dalton, and Jacksonville's Blaine Gabbert, whose last name should be pronounced as though he were a 19th-century French trapper. Twelve rookies have taken their team's first snap in the last five years; that's as many as did so in the twenty-five seasons before 2008.
By my count, five of the rookie starters from this year and last beat out competitors who would likely be better than them this season. But in no universe does anyone think that Matt Moore, McCoy, Sage Rosenfels, Chad Henne, or Matt Flynn are capable of winning Super Bowls in 2012 or beyond. NFL front offices want to know sooner rather than later whether their signal-caller could be a Super Bowl-level guy. Once a passer reveals that he isn't — and most of them will — he's given a headset and a spot on the bench, and then it's the next kid's turn. Over the last 20 years, of the 13 different QBs who have won Super Bowls, only two — Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer — were not guys who are in, or likely bound for, the Hall of Fame. You can see the game change around the time Troy Aikman won his first Super Bowl: in the 12 seasons prior to Aikman's XXVII win, only one champion franchise had a Hall of Fame QB, the 49ers (Joe Montana).
I spoke to a former NFL general manager with decades of experience in the league about the changing attitudes toward the position in front offices. He stressed that the conventional wisdom he learned about managing quarterbacks is all but dead.
"I think Mark Rypien, Doug Williams, Phil Simms, I don't know if you can win Super Bowls with those guys in today's game," he said. "You can't play great defense anymore — the rules have really prohibited the defense from doing the things that they used to do. Defense keeps you in games, but offense wins them now."
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How A Major League Baseball Player Faked Out The Entire Stadium
This is what they call the old “dog and ball” trick.
Let's set the scene: the Orioles and the Rays are tied 2-2 in the top of the 9th. There are two outs, and the Rays' Rich Thompson is on second.
At the plate, Evan Longoria hits a dribbling groundball to the left side of the infield.
Orioles third-baseman Manny Machado fields the ball and, instead of attempting the difficult throw to first — which, if he screwed up, could lead to a Rays score — pump-fakes, then tosses it to the shortstop.
Watch it again. The play is equal parts savvy thinking and tremendous athleticism.
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The Unnecessary Censorship Of Novak Djokovic
The tennis player fell victim to one of Jimmy Kimmel's regular spoofs but it does look like Novak enjoyed himself.
"Oh, looks like we are getting started..."
"Going to my happy place."
"That's the spot!"
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