Step 1: be an awesome Formula 1 pit crew. Step 2: change 4 tires and a steering wheel like it's no big deal.
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How To Change 5 Wheels In 3.3 Seconds
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David Stern Has The Wrong Hurricane On His Mind
It's named Sandy, David. Katrina happened in 2005.
David Stern kicked off the NBA season by sticking his foot in his mouth.
(h/t Deadspin)
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Eli Manning Survived The Hurricane, Remains Super Derpy
This photo is amazing.
Source: @Jim_ICE
For a long time I bemoaned the fact that Eli Manning won a Super Bowl (let alone two), because it meant that making fun of Eli wasn't nearly as fun. Sure he was still derpy, but he was derpy and a CHAMPION. For the last few years I've been convinced that being a champion outweighed all the derp. This photo proves I was wrong. Eli Manning, casually taking a photo of hurricane damage while wearing sweatpants is perfect. He looks like he's at a party where he doesn't know anyone. So thank you Eli Manning. Thank you for being both one of the best football players in the world, as well as a giant freaking muppet. I really appreciate it.
H/T Jim_Ice on Twitter.
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Amar'e Stoudemire's Range Rover Is Underwater
Hurricane Sandy doesn't care how much money you make or if you play for the Knicks.
Source: statigr.am
Amar'e Stoudemire is not having a great week. The Knicks just announced that he's going to miss the first six to eight weeks of the NBA season, due to needing a knee debridement (a procedure often used to treat arthritic patients, so it's good news for Knicks fans that their $100 million man needs it). And on top of that he's going to have to find a new car to drive to those doctor's appointments, after Hurricane Sandy decided that his Range Rover would make a pretty kick-ass submersible.
That said, if this picture is any indication, STAT (Standing Tall And Tender) could host an awesome Discovery Channel wilderness show. The jacket. The point. This guy's a natural. Plus, the only thing more entertaining than a jackass risking his life to film weird shit in the jungle is a giant risking his life to film weird shit in the jungle. Get off your hands, Discovery Channel, and make the call!
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Lance Armstrong Will Be Burned In Effigy In England
This might be an overreaction, England.
Image by The Associated Press / AP
Every year a crazy group of English people that call themselves the Edenbridge Bonfire Society gather together around the time of Guy Fawkes Night to set off fireworks, burn effigies of famous people and presumably watch "V For Vendetta."
In the wake of the Lance Armstrong doping scandal, the former seven-time Tour de France champion was voted by the people to be burned this year. A 30-foot likeness of Armstrong has been erected in Edenbridge (about 35 miles southeast of London), holding a sign that says "FOR SALE: Racing bike / no longer required." Also considered for the honor to be burned (and English bookies took bets on this) were soccer players John Terry (6/1), Luis Suarez (10/1) and Ashley Cole (12/1), as well as George Osborne, a conservative British politician (4/1).
Stay weird, England.
(via The Telegraph)
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Want To See A Photo Of A Baby Jeremy Lin Dressed Like Bambi For Halloween?
You know you do.
Lin posted this photo to his Facebook today. It couldn't possibly be better.
Here's an artist's rendering of what Lin's costume looks like this year:
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The Oklahoma City Thunder Filmed The Best Car Commercial Ever
Serge Ibaka sings, Kendrick Perkins mean-mugs.
The Oklahoma City Thunder star in a local car commercial for the ages.
Norman Chrysler Jeep Dodge is going to sell a billion cars because of this, even though Kendrick Perkins is a buzzkill who refused to participate.
Perkins looked like he wanted to murder someone.
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San Francisco Giants Star: "I Just Look Illegal"
Sergio Romo, relief pitcher for the World Series champion San Francisco Giants, sported an extremely political shirt during the Giants victory parade on Halloween.
Sergio Romo was born in Brawley, California, to Mexican parents.
Image by Ezra Shaw / Getty Images
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Mario And Luigi Caught A Bulls Game In Chicago
And is that supposed to be the dog from Duck Hunt ? There aren't any other dog-like characters in Mario, are there? If it is, I bet Duck Hunt Dog is way easier to deal with once he gets a few beers in him.
UPDATE: It's Scooby-Doo
Which makes sense. Mario and Luigi haven't talked to the Duck Hunt dog since he got really into coke and hookers. They tried to hold an intervention, but that asshole wouldn't stop laughing.
H/T Matt Skrajner at The News-Herald.
Image by Jeff Haynes / Reuters
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Every NBA Fan In 180 Seconds
Toronto: “We're like Cleveland with health care.” BOOM. Roasted.
Source: youtube.com
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High School Football Star Runs Out Of Bounds So Freshman Whose Dad Just Died Could Score
I'd love to say, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose,” but my eyes are all dusty or something. Allergies, maybe.
A few weeks ago at a high school football game in Ohio, St. Clairsville was comfortably beating their rival Edison when they handed the ball off to senior star running back (and future Michigan Wolverine) Michael Ferns.
Ferns, who had already scored 11 touchdowns on the year, broke through the line, then broke multiple tackles.
It appeared Ferns was headed for number 12.
But then he stepped out of bounds at the one-yard-line.
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Hurricane Sandy Resurrected Old Cleveland Municipal Stadium
The stadium that once played host to both the Indians and the Browns, and was unaffectionately known as “The Mistake On The Lake,” was destroyed in the mid-'90s and dropped in Lake Erie. Hurricane Sandy brought it back.
According to Tremont Electric, Hurricane Sandy's path over Lake Erie brought back memories of one of the worst pro sports stadiums ever constructed. Strewn alongside the shores of the Bratenahl section of Cleveland this morning were pieces of the infamous Cleveland Municipal Stadium that was destroyed in November of 1996. The debris was used to make three man-made reefs in Lake Erie — though I'm not totally convinced that that's not a euphemism for throwing your trash in the lake — and Sandy unmade them.
Cleveland Municipal Stadium in 1991:
Source: cavalier92
Cleveland Municipal Stadium this morning:
No word if the most disgusting urinal troughs the world has ever seen have reared their ugly heads. No one has reported any mutations yet so I'm thinking we're still safe on that front.
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Google Image Search Of The Day
One of these things is not like the others.
This is what happens when you image search : (the punctuation mark).
Very clever, Google.
But Bartolo Colon looks so lonely.
Source: reddit.com
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11 Reasons Why The NBA Is Going To Be Fun As Hell To Watch This Year
Look no further than these storylines to know why the NBA is the best professional sports league going. (That's right — better than the NFL.)
1. The League's Two Most Interesting Guards Now Play For The Same Team
It WOULD be pretty interesting if Rockets GM Daryl Morey (left) signed himself to play point guard alongside James Harden, but despite what this picture/headline imply we're actually referring to Harden and Jeremy Lin.
Image by Pat Sullivan / AP
James Harden is the bearded pick-and-roll savant with the dead-eye shot and ball-handling skills as good as any two-guard's in the league. Jeremy Lin is the fan-favorite floor general who's the basketball equivalent of a running back, barreling down the lane for incomprehensible layups. Together, they've turned the formerly moribund, personality-devoid Houston Rockets into the league's most charismatic squad, that one team that will make you say, damn, I wish I was a Rockets fan. The fact that Houston's not even necessarily a playoff team makes them even more exciting — beyond Harden and Lin, the roster's filled with untested rookies (Royce White, Terrence Jones), three-point specialists (Daequan Cook, Carlos Delfino), and unconventional bigs (Chandler Parsons, Marcus Morris). Nobody knows how this experiment's going to end, except that we'll all have a hell of a lot of fun on the way.
2. The Lakers Must Win The Championship, But They Might Not
Image by Lucy Nicholson / Reuters
If the Lakers, a flock of basketball ubermenschen assembled at great cost and with huge fanfare, do not win the NBA Championship this year, their season will be considered a failure. Steve Nash is 38; Kobe Bryant is 34; Pau Gasol and Metta World Peace are 32; the window for these four guys is closing fast. Plus, the combined weight of their salaries means that the Lakers are paying a tremendous amount in luxury tax to put them all together. When you factor in coach Mike Brown’s questionable-ness, Dwight Howard’s mental inconsistency, and the fact that the Heat appear to be even better than they were last year, you start to wonder: does the Lakeshow even have that great of a shot at winning it all in 2013? Of course they do. It’s just going to be far from easy. After all, they’ve lost ten games in a row (two real and eight preseason) — they should try winning a game first.
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Hines Ward Will Appear In An Episode Of "The Walking Dead"
Ward's IMDb resume continues to blossom after a cameo in “The Dark Knight Rises.”
Hines Ward's latest acting adventure will take place on "The Walking Dead." He said it took a few hours in makeup to get him looking like a proper zombie but did not reveal if he'll be killed off on the show. (But he's a zombie, so probably.)
It's really not that noticeable on your face, Hines.
Theodore "T-Dog" Douglas says Hines will probably be the fastest zombie the show has ever seen.
This is a godsend, because The Walking Dead really needs to generate some pace. They spent an entire season on a goddamn farm. Let's move it along, please.
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Shaun White Was The Little Mermaid For Halloween
You can't unsee this.
This was Shaun White's Halloween costume this year.
Via: http://@Shaun_White
Shaun just gets Halloween. Here are a couple of his previous costumes.
Via: maymemymomuu
Via: maymemymomuu
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21 Images That Show Why The NYC Marathon Was Canceled
The Bloomberg Administration has relented and postponed the marathon. The NYC Marathon starts in Staten Island just before the Verrazano Bridge. South Beach, a neighborhood nearby, suffered tremendous damage from Sandy. Here are 21 photos of what it looks like in some places there.
Via: silive.com
The following two photos were taken during the storm:
Via: @nycarecs
Via: static
These were taken after the storm:
Via: gramfeed.com
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Dwyane Wade Would Like The NBA To Cancel The Knicks-Heat Game
The Heat star was not thrilled with the traffic heading into New York City.
The Miami Heat are playing the New York Knicks on Friday night. It is the first NBA game in the city since Hurricane Sandy hit.
Image by Joe Skipper / Reuters
On Thursday night Dwyane Wade tweeted "3 hour traffic just to get into the NY city.. C'monMan..." . Realizing that was kind of a stupid thing to say, he deleted it. Mario Chalmers did not delete his re-tweet though.
Then Wade clarified:
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This Ad Supporting Athletes' LGBT Rights In The Netherlands Is Strange
Yes, that is a soccer player wearing a giant closet costume.
The Royal Dutch Football Association recently released this video to help promote acceptance of LGBT athletes in the Netherlands. It's a little quirky.
The KNVB's effort to promote LGBT acceptance within a rather progressive country that has legally allowed same-sex marriage since 2001 is admirable, but they might have whiffed on the execution. Are we supposed to laugh at a closeted gay athlete showering with his teammates and awkwardly fitting in with the team, when these are very real issues that can keep gay athletes from coming out? What do you think?
H/T Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle.
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Some People Are Pretty Pissed About The New York Marathon Being Canceled
Some of these complaints seem pretty reasonable — it sucks to train all year for something that isn't happening… Others? Not so much.
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