The takeaway? Seattle is a bad, bad place.
WARNING: Most of these videos contain some NSFW language, but hearing drunken cries of rage really livens up the whole experience.
ROUND 1: Cowboys vs. Seahawks
The beef: A Cowboys fan is rightfully unhappy that the 'Boys just got stomped 27-7 by the Seahawks, and just as he is about to hop into his 90s Astrovan, he meets a Seattle fan that wants him to "get the f*** out of here."
The highlights:
:10 A goofier, white Dez Bryant makes his namesake proud by naturally finding a fight within seconds.
:35 The Seattle fans gang up on a Cowboy fan, pin him to the ground, and unleash hell.
:40 A wimpier version of Emmitt Smith, who appears to be wearing face paint or some sort of Phantom of the Opera mask, half-heartedly attempts to free his fellow Cowboy fan.
1:08 Model citizen Dez tries to serve as a mediator between the two sides and break up the fight.
1:30 Some guy drives a motorcycle right through the fight (really, motorcyclist?), and a woman wearing lime green overalls shouts for mercy.
WINNER: The Seattle Seahawks fans, by unanimous decision.